Marc’s Musings

I read this in The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith Withinover a year ago. It’s still incredibly inspiring!

With insects most of us know that bees are called swarms, and ants are called colonies. Among ocean life, I was aware that whales are pods, and fish are schools. Cattle are herds, birds are flocks, and if you watch Lion King, you know a tribe of lions is a pride. If you grew up in the country, you might know that crows are murders. Maybe the most unnerving one is an ambush of tigers.

I was surprised to learn that a group of buzzards waiting around together to feast on leftover carnage is called a committee. Just this one insight is worth the price of the whole book. This explains so much of what’s going on in churches – a lot of committees waiting around to live off human carnage.

Groups of flamingos are called flamboyant, which for some reason reminds me of TV evangelists. And groups of the less glamorous owls are known as parliaments. They do seem sort of British.

But my favorite of all is the group designation of rhinos. You see, rhinos can run at thirty miles an hour, which is pretty fast when you consider how much weight they’re pulling. They’re actually faster than squirrels, which can run at up to twenty-six miles an hour. And even then, who’s going to live in dread of a charging squirrel? (Sorry – that was a bit off the point.)

Running at thirty miles an hour is faster than a used Pinto will go. Just one problem with this phenomenon. Rhinos can see only thirty feet in front of them. Can you imagine something that large moving in concert as a group, plowing ahead at thirty miles an hour with no idea what’s at thirty-one feet? You would think that they would be far too timid to pick up full steam, that their inability to see far enough ahead would paralyze them to immobility. But with that horn pointing the way, rhinos run forward full steam ahead without apprehension, which leads us to their name.

Rhinos moving together at full speed are known as a crash. Even when they’re just hanging around enjoying the watershed, they’re called a crash because of their potential. You’ve got to love that. I think that’s what we’re supposed to be. That’s what happens when we become barbarians and shake free of domestication and civility. The church becomes a crash. We become an unstoppable force. We don’t have to pretend we know the future. Who cares that we can see only thirty feet ahead? Whatever’s at thirty-one feet needs to care that we’re coming and better get out of the way.

We need to move together as God’s people, a barbarian tribe, and become the human version of the rhino crash. The future is uncertain, but we need to move toward it with confidence.

I’ve been playing with Google AdWords and Facebook ads for my Fundraisingcoach.com site, my Ask Without Fear! book, the Vineyard Church of Waterville, and for the cool KVConnect group.

I just reconciled my January and February charges for both.

Let’s just say that Facebook is really expensive. 4x’s the Google AdWords.

I have seen increased activity on my sites and slightly better sales. But I wasn’t at all focused in my advertising. Like channeling people to buying stuff at Fundraisingcoach.com.

I’m much more focused now.

I bet I’d have had to pay lots more if I hired someone to teach me this!

(That’s what I’m telling myself anyway!)

Just read this in the Chronicle of Philanthropy’s Daily Update:

February 26, 2008

Health-Care Costs Stress Churches
Churches are caught in a major financial bind as health-care costs escalate, reports Religion News Service.

Church memberships are declining — making finances tight — and the proportion of older clergy members is growing, so the cost of insurance for them is rising fast, the article says. What’s more, research shows that Protestant ministers tend to be more overweight, stressed, and depressed than the general population, adding to the overall increase in health costs borne by churches.

In response, some churches have made changes to their health-care plans and are encouraging pastors to get health-risk assessments and are offering incentives for taking steps to improve their health.

See The Chronicle’s article on the efforts under way by grant makers and others to help clergy members deal with physical and emotional stress.

(Free registration is required to view the Religion News Service article on the Washington Post site.)

“Protestant ministers tend to be more overweight, stressed, and depressed than the general population…”

What does that say about what we expect of pastors?

I’m constantly letting Vineyard Church of Waterville people know that I’m not the end-all-and-be-all of church life. God is no more available to me than He is to any of us.

I’m also clear on my limititations, like counseling. I’m not a “is-everyone-feeling-happy” pastor. I can’t play that game and stay sane.

Everyone comes into church with their own opinion of how a pastor is supposed to be. Usually it could be defined as “the person that meets all my needs and is always at my beck and call.”

Not even God meets all our “needs”!

I’m blessed to be pastoring a church that is supportive of my living in my limits. Sure, I constantly do things I’m not great at, like shoveling, cleaning ice off the roof…basically the stuff that just needs to get done.

And I pray all the time for counselor types to fill our congregation. We need people with spiritual gifts of mercy and compassion. (2 gifts I constantly score very low on!)

So, if VCW is your home, thanks. It’s an honor to be your pastor.

And if your home is somewhere else, please re-think your relationship with your pastor. He or she is simply a finite human being sincerely trying to live out of their spiritual gifting. It’s really easy to confuse that with meeting everyone’s needs. But that’s a sure fire way to lose. People can be voracious like 3 year olds—enough is never enough.

debunking the dating myths
Friday March 7, 2008, 7-9pm
Vineyard Lewiston Fireside Lounge
(12 Foss Rd. Lewiston, ME 04240)

This is an event for anyone, ages 16-35 who is wanting to learn more about real, healthy relationships!

Come enjoy a cup of coffee, yummy desserts, meet some new friends, bring some old friends.
Hear some practical insight for the dating mystery, ask your questions, get some answers.

(Child Care available, by reservation only…email jenna.stepp@vineyardlewiston.com)

A night with Christian Dunn, Vineyard youth pastor and author of Finding the One: How Dating Prepares You For Marriage

(Christian was a leader of East Coast Aflame at the age of 16 and has been leading young people for over 10 years. He is the youth leader at the Vineyard at the Barn, PA. He will also be doing an all day event for guy only ages 13-25 on Saturday, March 8th called CRASH. Check it out at http://www.relevantwisdom.org/contact.html (registration required for CRASH event)

I’m reading through The 4-Hour Workweek.

I really like it.

One of the many tweaks I’ve put into action is a reminder that pops up three times a day. It’s really helped me keep focused today.

The reminder says:

Am I inventing things to do to avoid the important?

I just love playing with peoples’ heads. I love the surprise effect it has when people can’t pigeon-hole me.

Today was one of those days.

I had the pleasure of introducing the executive director for the Maine Civil Liberties Union. She was presenting at Rotary on the federal governments’ so-called RealID program.

Maine was the first state to “opt-out” of this undebated national identity card program. A program that dictators like those in Germany and Rwanda use to track people and weed out ethnic or political groups.

I’m so glad for groups like the ACLU and the MCLU. I don’t agree with all their issues. But I sleep much sounder knowing there are watch dog groups out there protecting my civil liberties. Liberties that are so callously tossed away by otherwhise rational people.

Today I got some of the same looks I get when I tell people I’m a pastor and that I brew beer.

Priceless.

“Houston, we have a problem.”

But not in Waterville.

The men will be watching Apollo 13 Wednesday at 7 p.m.

This is a long movie so we’re starting it at 7 p.m. sharp.

[2/28 I just love this movie. "Focus on the problem." One step at a time. Mid-course correction. There's so much in here. Thanks Mike and Paul for a great discussion too!]

Mark Batterson has some great meeting tips for pastors.

I too have sat through more than one MLM-just-disguised-as-getting-together-to-hang-out. (When I was starting out in Amway, I was responsible for some of like that. It always left me feeling really slimy. So it became a matter of integrity for me to let people know I was talking about a business opportunity.

Anyway, I think these tips are great for people meeting with pastors too!

Just read this. Particularly appropriate given that I’m going to start my next batch today.

Give a man a beer and he’ll waste an hour. Teach him to brew and he’ll waste a lifetime. - Nuco Gordo

I’m having quite a week!

Tuesday, I was invited to train the super-elite fundraisers for Habitat for Humanity International in Atlanta. I’ve been a fan of Habitat for years. And what a terrific group of development people they have!

Now I’m at the Consortium for Endowed Episcopal Parishes annual conference speaking on fundraising to people employed by their parish as stewardship directors. What a cool job!!! These folks are right in the thick of engaging Christians with the place of their resources in their spiritual journey.

It’s an incredible privilege to be speaking to such terrific people. These people are expanding the Kingdom in some pretty creative ways!