As seen in today’s intranet at the hospital:
Doctors’ Opinions of the Financial Bailout Plan
The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The osteopaths thought we’re all being manipulated. The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling that it was not something they could stomach. The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the otolaryngologists wouldn’t hear of it; the pathologists said, “Over my dead body!” while the pediatricians advised, “Oh, grow up!”
The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness; the radiologists could see right through it; and the general surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The vascular surgeons were thinking along the same vein.
The internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow; and the plastic surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.” The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; and the cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say much of anything.
In the end, the proctologists, concerned that we’re already in arrears, wanted a more probing analysis.