Are you his father?

In 33 days, I’ll be 40.

Last week, visiting the place where my 39 year old cousin lives, I was asked, “Are you his father?” [Click on that link to see my Facebook update and the resulting comments.]

Really? He’s just a few months younger than I am!?


Perhaps it was that comment that finally spurred me on to this nostalgic “turning 40” blog post. 4 whole decades on planet Earth. Honestly, overall, I’m really looking forward to the 40’s.

The 20’s were great

I traveled alot internationally (living in Jerusalem; extended visits to Greece and India; and a missions trip to Mexico). I moved at least ten times. And it was largely filled with the newly married emotional mix of the amazing possibilities for our future and the startling reality shocks of life. Trying to figure out employment and budgets and parenting and wanting to discover what I wanted to do with the rest of my life while honoring my wife and my role as a new dad.

The 30’s were great too

Wonderful in many ways. Our family grew to five. I completed my Masters and become a Certified Franklin Covey Coach. I even got to fulfill a life long dream of planting a church and pastoring it for almost 4 years.

Thanks to encouragement, and a kick in the pants from my wife, I started brewing my own beer. My first book was published. I did my first radio and TV interviews (and loved them!). I even started teaching a college course in internet marketing.

And in what seems nicely settling, I think we only moved 4 or 5 times. (And what was not “nicely settling,” my already slow metabolism seemed to go in reverse. *sigh*)

Is this it?

But so much of my 30’s was filled with my desk job, haunted by the nagging question, “Is this it? Is this what the rest of my life will look like?”

I felt a constant pressure to “settle for” what I was doing. I found this particularly pulling–and depressing–in my day job in Central Maine. “Settling for” did make sense. I had an great wife and three cool kids to think about. I should just grow up, give up on the dreams I’d written in my teens, and accept that life isn’t about dreams. After all, I had a great job and a wonderful family. Who was I to want more?

“Who are you to want more?” and “Just accept this as God’s best and settle for what you’ve got” haunted me during my work days.

Ok. Re-reading the stuff that happened to me in my 30’s makes the “settle for” question seem laughable. Some amazing things happened to me. Hey, I even was honored by being chosen one of Maine’s first “40 under 40” a few months ago!

But to me, “settling for” amounts to do something that felt less than living my life’s purpose. I want to use my gifts to God’s glory and to their fullest extent, providing not just a comfortable life but one that would let my wife and kids each excel at their life callings while actively helping expand the Kingdom of God.

The 40’s will be awesome

I think I’m really looking forward to the 40’s largely because I have an amazing wife and because I serve an incredible God. My wife has been really supportive in some end-of-the-30s career choices that have opened up the world of speaking and training for me. And I’m really excited to see her re-discovering her voice. We’re a great team and will get to explore that even more in the next decade. We’ve even started doing a fun “He said. She said.” blog thing together!

In the last year, I got to speak all over the US and in New Zealand, Bermuda, and Mexico. I’ve got a couple more books ready to come out and another fundraising training DVD. My existing writing is currently being translated into Polish and I have requests for it to be translated into Russian and Spanish too.

As I approach 40, I’m far more confident in who I am and what I do well. And I’m really comfortable in what I don’t do well. (I focus on strengths but I firmly believe God has endowed us with limits to force us to rely on other people.)

Are you his father?

So as I am less then 3 dozen days away from 40, and despite having been perceived as the father of a 39 year old, I am looking forward to what lies ahead!

Marc A. Pitman

Marc A. Pitman helps leaders lead their teams with more effectiveness and less stress. The author of "Ask Without Fear!®," he is the founder of The Concord Leadership Group and He's also the executive director of and an Advisory Panel member of Rogare, a prestigious international fundraising think tank. He is the husband to his best friend and the father of three amazing kids. And if you drive by him on the road, he’ll be singing 80’s tunes loud enough to embarrass his family! You can connect with him on Google+, on Twitter @marcapitman, and like "Ask Without Fear!" on Facebook. To get his free ebook on 21 ways to get board members engaged with fundraising, go to

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